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5 Things You Should Stop Doing in Recovery

Growing up isn’t always easy. In recovery, you will learn how to grow into yourself by adopting new behaviors. Along the way, you will need to recognize and part with old behaviors which no longer serve you.


  • Stop doing all your communication digitally: There is an art to communication. When you go to treatment for drug and alcohol addiction, you will learn many different techniques for healthy and effective communication. Confrontation is a fear for many people. Communication skills help you navigate confrontation so you can directly talk with who you need to talk to. Consistently relying on digital means of communication is a way of avoiding person to person confrontation.
  • Stop trying to control and change other people: When spelled out, the fact that you cannot change or control other people is blatantly obvious. People have something called free will which prevents you from taking total control of their lives, thoughts, actions, and behaviors- no matter how hard you try. Coming upon this realization is, for many, revelatory. Too often it is believed that if you can only change others, your life would be easier or better. The real secret is learning to change yourself- especially by changing your belief that you can change or control others.
  • Stop avoiding routine: Author Paulo Coelho is often quoted for saying, “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine – it’s lethal.” Routine and adventure find a happy balance in recovery. Routine is necessary for recovery in the early stages, which is why treatment runs on a schedule and small things are recommended every day. Prayer, meditation, exercise, going to recovery support meetings, and communicating with peers in recovery are considered necessary routines. Chronic spontaneity isn’t just a fun spirit- it is the sign of a spirit that cannot adapt or take responsibility.
  • Stop flaking: Flakey behavior is one of the most difficult to change. When you believe you are entitled to constantly change plans, fail to show up, not get something done- you don’t. You might resort to lies and manipulations to try and compensate for what you cannot be accountable for. Most often, beneath the surface of flakey behavior, there is a deep insecurity which causes what flaking truly is: self-sabotaging behavior.
  • Stop going into shut down: Learning to live with a full spectrum of emotions is the great challenge to every woman in recovery. Feeling your feelings and coping with them is difficult to do when your brain has been programmed by addiction to seek pleasure. Going into total shutdown instead of facing negative emotions is an old coping behavior which should change in recovery. Talking about your feelings, wants, and needs, is critical to your development and your sobriety.


Villa Tranquil is a women’s transitional living home offering women between the ages of 18 and 65 a unique opportunity to extend their care after treatment. Call us today for information on our clinical structure and recovery support in our beautiful Jupiter Farms home:  214-799-3080