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Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a type of therapy that focuses on the present moment. DBT uses different skills such as mindfulness to create a space for individuals with addictions or co-occurring disorders to help alleviate their stressors. By focusing on your thoughts and actions, those struggling can learn to be present in the moment. DBT can also be used for those that would like to work on mindfulness — you don’t need to have an addiction or mental illness to benefit from DBT! 

One specific DBT skill that is used widely is DEARMAN. This helps boost interpersonal skills so that you can communicate in an effective manner. DEARMAN is a skill that can be used when you are asking something of someone or trying to solve a conflict. Villa Tranquil Recovery is going to explain the DEARMAN skill today below.


In this first stage, it’s important to be clear and give all of the details. State the necessary facts and refrain from including personal opinions or your feelings. It’s essential to stick to the facts because the person you are communicating with may not see the problem at hand. Once you have described the fasts, you can move on to the next step…


This is where you express how you are feeling. The most effective way to do this is to use “I” statements. “I” statements show that you are accountable for your actions while also expressing clearly how you are feeling. Using these statements help make you relatable while also keeping the other person from getting defensive. 


When having a conversation like this, you have something you need that needs to be changed or has to be done. In order to get what you want, you must be assertive in asking for it. Be direct; beating around the bush only prolongs confusion. Being assertive also shows the other person that you are serious about what you are asking for. 


To get the other person to agree to what you are asking for, you may have to reinforce that there is something in it for them. Don’t sway the conversation so much to where it is one-sided. Reinforce your position while also proving to the other person that there is something in it for them, too. 

Stay Mindful

Being mindful is a crucial thing to do regularly, but especially when you may end up getting swept up in emotions during a passionate conversation. Try to reduce distractions and stay focused, while also…

Appear Confident

Appearing confident is a necessary key. The other person will be able to notice your confidence and they will give you some trust. They will also be more likely to be receptive when you appear confident.


Be willing to compromise, if necessary. Try to reduce demands as much as possible, too. Allow the other person to express themselves, but make sure you are negotiating for what you really want. 

Villa Tranquil Recovery is here for you when you are struggling with your relationships. Call today for more information about how we can help you. You can reach us at 214-799-3080. We can’t wait to hear from you.