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Did I Disappoint Them?

No matter what your age, for many of us, pleasing our parents is a seemingly unattainable, but persistent, unwavering goal. While a multitude of research has been done over the years about just what fuels this desire to please our parents, much of the reasoning is still unknown, likely an instinctual behavior buried deep in our DNA. Many types of animals are apparently born with this constant need to stay in the good graces of those that gave birth to them. They are taught to survive, shown them how to succeed in their lives, and provided the things they needed to flourish is it nothing more than a sense of gratitude for the things our parents have done for us? Or is it something much more profound and prophetic? Whatever the reasoning, the fact is that many of us have this desire deep in our hearts to please our parents. We avoid causing unnecessary disappointment whenever possible and do what we can to improve our image in their eyes.

Sometimes we pretend the need to please our parents doesn’t exist or isn’t as prominent as it appears, however, often this is not the case. This is especially true for women. Studies have shown that as a woman, you are three times more likely to care genuinely about disappointing your parents than your male counterparts. For women dealing with addiction, this can be startlingly problematic.

It is critical that you remember that what you see on the outside isn’t always the truth. It just isn’t always that simple. If one or both of your parents claim to be disappointed in you, or their actions or body language have you feeling like you have failed them, remind yourself that there is often more to meets the eye. Maybe, your mother is feeling guilty for not being home when you were done with school each day. Or maybe your father feels partially responsible for your issues with alcohol as he is an alcoholic as well. Often you may not be aware of what’s happening behind the scenes for your parents. With this so often being the case, it is unfair to yourself to stew in feelings of not being good enough for them. The reality is that we all make mistakes, and that is part of life. The important thing is what we learn from these mistakes. Make sure you have learned the lessons you needed to learn through your struggles with addiction. Be the best version of yourself because of those lessons. Get the help you need today.

Villa Tranquil is a full-service recovery facility designed to let you focus on you during your recovery. Call 214-799-3080 to speak with a recovery expert today and begin down your road to recovery.