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Inner Critic Or Inner Coach: Which One Should I Nurture?

Our self-talk is an important thing that we need to consciously work on. Most people, however, do not. They go about their day and let their thoughts, good or bad, flow freely without giving it a second consideration. It’s time we put a bit more focus on what we tell ourselves. It takes effort to craft both our inner critic and inner coach. We should be working on dismantling our inner critic and feeding our inner coach.

Inner critic

 Your inner critic is your negative self-talk. It is often rude and demeaning, working to break you down one thought at a time. Here’s the thing: we aren’t born with an inner critic. It begins when we hear others talking down to themselves or even us. Try to recognize your inner critic and think of who it reminds you of. 

Inner coach

 Your inner coach is your positive self-talk. It is uplifting and exudes confidence. It helps you achieve your goals and keep moving forward in your recovery. It treats your being with compassion while motivating in a healthy way. 

You must learn to balance your inner critic and your inner coach. Having constructive criticism is a good thing! You need to find things that you can work on to be a better person. You might need a little push every once in a while. This is where it’s good to have an inner constructive critic. There isn’t, however, a need to be rude or demeaning to yourself. That doesn’t achieve anything. Furthermore, the biggest thing you can nurture is your coach. Your inner coach picks you up and dusts you off. It helps you solve problems. Here are some situations where you can have an inner critic and an inner coach. Choose the inner coach. It’ll benefit you in the long run.

  • You lost your phone, but it’s somewhere in your house. 
  • Inner critic: “I was just using my phone and now I can’t find it?! I’m so dumb!”
  • Inner coach: “Let me retrace my steps.”
  • You made a mistake on a project at work.
    • Inner critic: “That was a stupid mistake. They’re probably going to fire me!”
    • Inner coach: “Let me have them explain my mistake and help me improve. I’ll get it next time.”
  • Your friend cancels on you.
    • Inner critic: “I mean nothing to them.”
    • Inner coach: “Let’s find a time to reschedule!”

Villa Tranquil Recovery wants to help you reshape your thoughts. If you are struggling with negative self-talk, give us a call at 214-799-3080. We can’t wait to hear from you and give you more information about the programs we offer.