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Kick These “Feminine” Behaviors to the Curb

Women should be quiet. Women shouldn’t be too presumptuous. When it comes to dating, a woman should never proposition a man. Women don’t propose. Women don’t make the first move. Women don’t argue. If a woman is treated poorly, she doesn’t say anything. Women gladly and graciously accept whatever conditions are presented to her, without protest. Women are subordinate and agreeable, obliging and non-argumentative. Women should know their place. Thankfully, women are learning their place and it involves none of these things.

The age of the porcelain doll woman, the iconic image of a full face of make up, a perfectly done hair-do, vacuuming in high heels and a string of pearls, is no longer standard. Women are not silent. Women argue. Women lead. Women protest. Women make moves. Women disagree. Women do not oblige. Women know their place. They are women. They are humans. They are people. Women are deserving of the opportunity to choose who it is they want to be and fully be that woman in whichever way she pleases. Femininity no longer has a definition, a role, a set of rules, or any standards. Feminine is what we make it. We are learning our place is to make femininity our own.

Respectfully, we remember that women who choose to adhere to older characteristics of femininity are entitled to do so because that is who they choose to be. However, there is no need to adhere to rules of femininity which do not adhere to our rules of femininity. We don’t have to “put on an act” for anyone to “act like a lady” because we are defining what that means for ourselves. Our values, our morals, our ethics, our behaviors, our expressions- all of these are autonomously our own. Recovery empowers us to show up the way we want to show up, which is only defined by what feels truly good to us, according to the values we have created. We know when we are acting in the wrong and we make amends when necessary. Otherwise, we have no apologies left for being independent, self-defined women- women of sobriety.