incredible-marketing Arrow
(214) 799-3080

What Not To Say To Someone Struggling

Those who love you often have good intentions. They want to help make things better, but sometimes what they say can end up hurting more than helping. Although their intention is not to hurt you, what they say and how they say it matters. This article is for family and friends —  don’t say these things to someone who is struggling with their mental health.

“Think of all the people who you would hurt.”

The guilt route is never the way to go. If your family member or friend is already struggling, they feel guilty enough. This is why people tend to suffer and depend on unhealthy coping methods in silence. They don’t want to feel like a bother. They don’t want to waste your time. Most of all, they don’t want to hurt you. They have already thought about how their decisions impact those they love. Don’t add unnecessary guilt to a struggling loved one. Instead, show them the support they need.

“Just think happy thoughts!”

Your loved one has tried this already. If it were as easy as “think happy, be happy,” no one would be dealing with depression. By saying this, you’re minimizing your loved one’s suffering. Those who are struggling are doing what they can to keep pushing through. They are trying to see the silver lining through the dark clouds. They are trying to make the best of the situation. Above all, they are doing the best that they can.

“If you didn’t use in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this position.”

What’s done is done. The past cannot be changed. If your loved one could go back in time and fix their mistakes, they would — but, they can’t. There is no reason to dwell on the past. Oftentimes, people develop and depend on unhealthy coping skills because they are dealing with a pain that is too much to bear. When someone is struggling, it is not the time to bring up past mistakes and make them feel guilty for their choices. Instead, help your loved one to take each day one step at a time.

If you have a loved one who is struggling with their mental health, show them compassion. They are doing the very best that they can. Urging them to seek out help when things get too hard to bear is also a step in the right direction. Above all: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.