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When You Say It, When He Says It: Why You Need to Know What He Peated Means

Mansplaining might have originally come from a writer by the name of Rebecca Solnit who coined something like the phrase in her 2008 essay “Men Explain Things To Me”. She defined the term as “the intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of that gender gets stuck.” Though the overly academic definition is pertinent, it does not poignantly enough describe the general experience most women have on a nearly daily basis. The components of mansplaining are simple. There is the component of the male subject and the action of the “splaining” which would be explaining. Generally, mansplaining is the unwarranted, unadulterated authoritative opinion of a male being offered as more reliable and accurate than that of a female. Most often, the female is knowledgeable on the subject, since she is speaking on it, and a male goes out of his way to position himself as more knowledgeable. Condescending, undermining, and downright offensive, the woman, her knowledge, and her position as an autonomous being, is pushed aside. Women go through this all the time, not just from men but from others. Told that we don’t know what we want, don’t know what’s best for us, don’t know what we need, and don’t know, it seems, just about anything. Women struggle with their self-esteem, self-image, and self-knowledge. Of course, being told, that’s because women are too soft, too emotional, too impressionable, and take things to personally- there’s an explanation. Many women silence themselves and their opinions because the fight is exhausting. The extermination of the woman’s voice is troubling, at best. Now, there is a new movement in which the woman’s voice is not just squashed, it is stolen.

The internet is buzzing with talk of being “repeated”, pronounced he-peated. Unfortunately, this is not a strictly man-made problem, so to speak. Women have been participating in the same behavior against women for centuries- a practice that might even be characterized as male. A woman has an idea. She has a thought, an opinion, or some kind of original, authentic piece of her brain to offer. When she speaks up, she falls on deaf ears. She might shout. She might scream. She might put on the most effective, elaborate presentation and she receives nothing. Yet, when a male counterpart says the exact same thing, with or without permission, his “repeat” of her thought is met with recognition, celebration, and reward.

Women are all too familiar with the chronic robbery of their identity, their thoughts, and themselves. For women who have suffered severe trauma, social injustices, discrimination, assault, harassment, and turned to alcohol, drugs, self-harm and other forms of self-defeating coping, the ability to speak up and ask for help seems even more daunting. Women don’t need anyone to explain what suffering feels like or that the opportunity to seek treatment, get help, and heals is theirs. If you are a woman who is fighting through life, do not give up. There is help available. If you have a woman in your life who is in need of treatment, encourage her to be open and ask for help. Nobody else can have this idea for you. Ask for help today, for you.


Villa Tranquil Recovery is a unique transitional living program for women who are seeking an extended opportunity for clinical care, structure, and compassion on the journey to becoming an authentic woman of recovery. Call us today for information on our beautiful home and life changing program today. You deserve it.  214-799-3080