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You Don’t Have To Be Your Worst Critic: Start Changing The Way You Treat Yourself

Treat yourself.

We love hearing that. Spa time? No problem. Afternoon nap? Don’t mind if we do! Schedule self-care time? We can make that a priority. One area of self-care we aren’t advised enough in is taking care of our thoughts. We have one primary relationship we as women have to work on our entire lives- the relationship we have with ourselves. When we have a negative relationship with ourselves, we can be ruthless. The many critical voices women receive in their lifetime crystallize into one pestering, relentlessly negative voice that lives inside of our head. We develop this voice from bullies, media, parents, boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, wives, school teachers, bosses, and strangers on the street. People go out of their way to make our worth their business. As a result, we make our worth our own business, in the wrong way. Changing the voice inside of our head from a negative one to a positive one can have a ripple effect on our lives and the lives of the people around us. Willing to be nicer and more compassionate toward ourselves, we can be nicer and more compassionate to others. We also stop taking everything too personally as we develop a solid foundation of who we are based on our own beliefs of who that woman is.

Make a list of your worst thoughts

Shaming thoughts have one thing in common: shame. We normally wouldn’t feel keen to share our negative thoughts with anyone else because deep down we are embarrassed by how awfully we speak to ourselves. A first step in breaking the cycle is identifying the negative thoughts and writing them down. Even if you feel that you know they aren’t true, it is helpful to put pen to paper and take a look at those thoughts honestly. Once you do, you start to take away the power they hold over you. For many women this is a challenge- those negative thoughts can serve a purpose.

Redefine your negative thoughts with positive ones

Every negative has an opposite and equal, or better, positive. Take those negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones. You can create statements of affirmation out of the positive thoughts. Scientifically proven, repeating affirmations to yourself every day for six months can drastically change your outlook on yourself and your life.

Ask for opinions from the peanut gallery

In defining an image of yourself, outside sources of inspiration are generally frowned upon. However, when you are struggling to develop nice thoughts about yourself, getting the honest opinion of others can help. You might be surprised to learn about some of the secret, personal ways people feel about you.


You have an opportunity to become a woman you can love when you enter recovery. Villa Tranquil, a transitional living program, wants to support you in continue to build your most important relationship: with yourself.

Call us today for information at  214-799-3080